I picked up the book I’m currently reading because I wanted to immerse myself in an interesting fantasy world, the premise sounded great and I was sure I’d love it.
Instead here I am, fuming and tempted to DNF at 54%, because
I FUCKING HATE THE MAIN CHARACTER.
She’s supposed to be this kick-ass, highly trained and super smart girl, who steals and lies and kills and fools everyone.
But I’m halfway through the story and what I got so far is
I swear that ALL she did so far was repeating OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN “Oh I’m so beautiful, I’m so brave, I’m so fucking badass, I could escape so easily, I could kill this guy in a second, I could do this and that and omg I look amazing in this dress and my hair is flawless.”
And her love interest(s)? “Oh her beauty is breathtaking, her intelligence is extraordinary, she can discuss books, music, politics, philosphy, theatre, cuisine, ice-skating, the ozone hole, deforestation, secrets of the dukan diet and biomedical engineering! She’s so awesome!! And so dangerous!! And her hair is so pretty!!”
The most annoying part, if you’re not annoyed enough yet, is that SHE DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO PROVE HER AWESOMENESS. Nothing. It’s all tell tell tell and not even one fucking moment of show.
Actually, she does show something. Her utter, ridiculous lack of humility and her absolute dumbness.
Tomorrow is my big day, the one that could change my life forever… and what do I do? I stay awake until 4 am, reading. Not training, not resting, reading! (Because that’s the easiest way to connect to my, guess what, readers!)
Oh look, someone left food in my room! It’s not like I’m one of those people someone is trying to kill, so let’s eat it! The thought it might be poisoned doesn’t even cross my mind (and yet I’m the smartest bitch around, yo), yummy!
I’m a slave but I boss people around because I’m fucking awesome and everyone grants my every wish!!
I’m a fucking ninja but everyone gets in and out of my room at any hour while I sleep and I don’t even notice!!!
I’m not like the other women!!!!1!!1!!! I’m special! Different! Everybody loves me! Eveybody forgets how to function when I’m around!!!! (and it’s true, they do. These people are morons and should not be allowed to rule a Country or lead an army)
By the way, people like me are misteriously dying, but who cares, two lines to mention it should be enough! (I mean what the fuck was the author thinking?? “The plot is boring so I’ll just summarize it and focus on THE LOVE TRIANGLE instead, lol”??)
I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS. This book is boring, the writing is not even good (too much description, exposition and repetition –she’s awesome, WE GOT IT FFS– , and don’t get me started on those freaking exclamation points everywhere !!!!!!!!!!!), and the MC is simply insufferable.
She is a fucking Mary Sue. Basically, the only things missing are violet eyes and the power to speak to unicorns and spirits. Oh wait, she does speak to dead people in her dreams who tell her she’s the only one who can save the world. Because she’s SPECIAL.
I’m so annoyed right now and I don’t think I can actually bring myself to finish this crap. The only good thing coming from this is that I finally understood, once and for all, what agents mean when they say “SHOW, DON’T TELL.”
Don’t make a character tell me a gazillion times how awesome, beautiful, clever, badass she is, because the only result will be having a MC so full of herself that the readers will groan in frustration page after page and HATE YOUR CHARACTER’S GUTS.
Give her things to do that show her personality and her abilities instead. Then the readers will decide that she is, in fact, a BAMF.
Write a compelling plot, instead of wasting 240 pages where NOTHING REALLY HAPPENS, filling them with descriptions of your MC’s hair, eyes, dresses, vanity and thoughts about ridiculously superfluous things.
So yeah, I’m out. I give up.
At least I learned something useful.